Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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