Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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