the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
and she was petting her beer can
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
