Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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