O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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