You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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