she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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