u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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