i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
