we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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