Your face is a jimmy john
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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