Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.