i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story