I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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