He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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