oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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