A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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