i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
