He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
