you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
