my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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