It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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