White coat. Heels.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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