Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
