Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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