this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
