we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize