I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
not ubering you a puppy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
