Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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