Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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