I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I enjoy the company of your penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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