Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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