Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
