Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
