He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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