ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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