And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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