yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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