is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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