I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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