i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My balls are so social today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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