just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
