these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
