Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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