The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad