Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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