i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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