i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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