FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
