Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize