I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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