Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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