Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
